The Trashy PD Has To Survive as an Idol

“Cast of Wanna Sing with Me?, gather around!”

I left the waiting room with Kang Yeonhu and headed to the set.

“Yeonhu and the support team, please stand here!”

Kang Yeonhu was quick-witted and good at assessing situations.

He had done quite a bit to survive here and achieve his dream, but he was naive and soft-hearted when it came to crucial moments.

In the end, he was the one who informed me about Jeong Dajun’s situation on Shining Star.

“I’m not planning to accommodate Seo Hoyun. So don’t do anything weird.”

“Hahaha.”

Even now, after exchanging a few words with him, it seemed he, half-forced to appear on this baseless program amidst a torrent of criticism, believed doing nothing was the safest course of action.

Some might label his attitude boring, while others might call it peculiar, but honestly, I thought he was wise.

It’s a way to endure the public for a while.

There’s a reason behind sayings like “Staying quiet at least lets you stay average.”[1]

But even so, I have to do something when it comes to financial matters.

As a former PD, he still had to save some face, especially since this variety show was lacking in intricate nuances.

People’s participation in the show was already decided, and it wasn’t even a survival show.

It was simply a music festival hosted by some famous comedians as MCs, with a few idols showcasing their unique styles.

The program was a special project with a short broadcast period.

There was no way the music festival’s performance itself would fail.

However—

“It’s been a while. Ah, hello, Kang Yeonhu.”

“Oh! Hello.”

These two would soon be rotting from the head down.

There was the main vocalist of Mars, who had been thriving in variety shows after Shining Star Season 1.[2]

And there was also the maknae of Lea Purple, who caused a stir with a scandal and the “Forb Law.”

They were put together like this.

The two, already waiting on set, greeted Kang Yeonhu and me.

Looking at their faces, they seemed awkward and uncomfortable with the current situation.

Even after the filming started, Mars’ main vocal and Lea Purple’s maknae were busy managing their expressions.

“Oh my goodness! Gugan and Yeonri, you two look so good together!”

“Even just standing together, it’s like a romantic movie! Are you two going to end up in a real relationship? Haha!”

The increasingly incompetent agencies were trying to create a romance issue by pairing up idols who had nothing in common.

Are they crazy?

Who would watch a boring variety show like this?

Using idols means they were trying to attract fans, but when you open it up and see what’s inside, who would watch it?

They would just get cursed at.

Who was the PD approving and recording this?

I was not pleased with this situation at all.

“Kyah… Ah, the two of them on stage… Haha.”

“So muuuuuch… looking forward to it.”

“Ah, hahaha…”

“Ha… haha…”

The laughter sounded more like a sigh, and it wasn’t just my imagination.

Kang Yeonhu, who had no interest in the romance plot, only gave a soulless smile.

“Cut!! Great, great!”

“Everyone, let’s move to the next location for the next scene!”

Wait, scene?

It was hard to tell if this was a reality show set or a drama.

In the end, everyone got in their vans and drove to the next location.

And the second peculiar point was.

[- Yeonri (Lea Purple): Oppa, is the food good?

– Guchan (Mars): Yes, it’s even more delicious today. Must be because I’m in a good mood.

– Yeonri (Lea Purple): How is it not salty? I’m enjoying this.

– Guchan (Mars): I’ve been running into Yeonri-sunbae a lot lately. It feels a lot like fate.

– Yeonri (Lea Purple): (Smile as if slightly embarrassed) Oppa! Don’t be so formal. Just call me Yeonri like usual.]

The program’s script was incredibly detailed.

And it was extremely outdated.

It’s the 21^st century, and these industry people couldn’t even grasp the needs of their main audience.

Of course, the writers who had gone through many variety shows probably didn’t want to write it like this.

And if you only considered the fans, there have been quite a few successful variety shows that had a romantic subplot.

In the past, idols were sometimes part of that too.

But as the influence of idols continued to grow, the broadcasting industry became more conscious of fans and gradually excluded such elements.

“Is! The! Food! De-li-cious!?”

As we waited for the cameras to be set up after arriving at the restaurant, Lea Purple’s maknae was busy muttering her lines, trying hard to appear like an emotionless robot. ᚱ𝙖ΝΟʙΕṨ

“Is! The food! Delicious!?”

“…”

What a mess!

I had a feeling during our preparation for our joint year-end stage, but Lea Purple’s agency still didn’t have their act together.[3]

Despite all the scandals, they were still throwing Lea Purple into situations like this.

“We’re starting the shoot!!”

“Yes!!”

Then, after hearing the staff shout, Lea Purple’s maknae nervously darted her eyes around before moving to the designated spot by the window.

I pulled out a chair opposite her and sat down, recalling the script.

[S#3 High-end Italian Restaurant

(After greeting their festival partners, Yeonhu, Hoyun, Yeonri, and Guchan have a business meal.)

– Guchan (Mars): I didn’t expect this to happen. Nice to meet you all.

– Yeonhu (High Five): Right? Opportunities like this are rare.

– Hoyun (The Dawn): (Playfully) I’m nervous being with sunbaes.

– Yeonhu: Hahaha! (Laughter)

(Proceed naturally)]

I watched Lea Purple’s maknae, who was twirling only the noodles of the cream pasta with her fork, trying to suppress the urge to bite her tongue.

Mars’ main vocal, having more experience with variety shows, started the conversation first.

“I didn’t expect this to happen. Nice to meet you all.”

“Right? Opportunities like this are rare.”

According to the script, it was supposed to be my turn next.

“…”

“…”

“…”

But I stuffed my mouth full of lasagna.

“Hey, why aren’t you saying your line?”

Mars’ main vocal signaled to me, but I pretended not to notice.

Lea Purple’s maknae, who was almost burying her face in her plate, flinched and looked at me.

It was her turn if I didn’t say my line.

“Oh… Umm.”

“…”

“Ahem.”

Eventually, Lea Purple’s maknae twisted and turned, opening her mouth hesitantly, causing Mars’ main vocal to shake his head in disbelief.

[- Yeonri (Lea Purple): Oppa, is the food delicious?]

“Op~… Is~ the~ food~… deli~cious?”

She butchered the line.

Lea Purple’s maknae’s awkward acting was on par with Kim Seonghyeon’s.

It was hard to tell if she was genuinely bad or doing it on purpose.

[- Guchan (Mars): Yes, it’s even more delicious today. Must be because I’m in a good mood.]

“Today! The mood is delicious!!” “……”

Mars’ main vocal, thrown off by Lea Purple’s maknae, mixed up the lines from before and after.

Fortunately, the PD seemed willing to let it slide and continued the shoot.

The main vocal of Mars knew he had to somehow get out of this situation to survive, but his expression showed he couldn’t think of a way to break through.

“Haha, right? The atmosphere makes it taste even better.”

Kang Yeonhu, as if it weren’t his problem, filled the empty audio with small talk and enjoyed his meal.

[- Yeonri (Lea Purple): How is it not salty? I’m enjoying this.]

“Ho—w— cou—ld— it— ho—w— cou—ld— it— sal… sal, salty, jjajangmyeon!!”[4]

“…”

“Ahem…”

Lea Purple’s maknae, feeling utterly embarrassed, clenched her hands tightly.

After several NGs, she resigned herself to the situation, signaling to the staff to edit out the rest.

“Well, yeah. If the pasta noodles were a bit thicker and darker, it would be jjajangmyeon…”

Mars’ main vocal just threw out random words, hoping to end it quickly.

Then, the timid maknae of Lea Purple closed her eyes tightly and continued with much difficulty.

“How is it not salty?!”

However, this time, the main vocal of Mars kept his mouth shut.

Just as he was thinking it would be a disaster to respond to the line…

“Right?”

The line meant for Mars’ main vocal, Guchan, came out of someone else’s mouth.

Mine, to be exact.

“Huh?”

Kang Yeonhu, who was dipping bread in pasta sauce, quickly turned his head.

I also glanced at the three who were clearly staring at me.

“We’ve been running into each other a lot lately. It feels like fate.”

I blatantly recited someone else’s line from the script.

“…What??”

I turned my gaze from Lea Purple’s maknae, who was in shock, to Kang Yeonhu and gave a sly smile.

“With our Yeonhu-sunbae.”

“…!”

Even if I were reborn, I would never in my life have the chance to say something like this to a female idol.

“Hmm?”

Kang Yeonhu, who was momentarily flustered, slightly frowned but quickly regained his composure and smiled softly.

“At work, with Hoyun?”

“Yes.”

“Come to think of it, we did run into each other often in the previous program.”

= Stop messing around before you start a fan war by bringing up Shining Star.

Wow, he’s sharp.

Unfortunately for Kang Yeonhu, who hoped things would end here, the staff, finding it interesting, gestured for us to continue.

Kang Yeonhu looked at them intently and bit his lip slightly before speaking again, albeit tiredly.

“To be here with Hoyun. It was a shame we couldn’t talk much last time since we were both busy.”

“Come on, we talked a lot.”

Mostly about keeping each other in check.

Kang Yeonhu looked at me with disbelief, as if asking if I was crazy.

“…What?”

Instead of answering, I calmly stabbed a fork into my salad and put it in my mouth, waiting for Kang Yeonhu’s reaction.

“Did we really talk that much? Haha.”

“Are you trying to mess with me right now?”

“Why? Sunbae, you know me well.”

= Play along, you bastard.

I met the gaze of WH Entertainment’s senior sunbae, Kang Yeonhu, who was struggling to maintain his composure, while enjoying the crunchy texture of the salad.

“I know you well, sunbae.”

Kang Yeonhu’s lips twitched.

He had witnessed me betray Jeong Wonha right in front of him, even pretending not to notice Seong Jiwon while making a joke about there being a hearing.[5]

He couldn’t possibly be unaware of my true nature.

It seemed like the “Seo Hoyun = Dangerous Person” alarm was blaring loudly in his head right now.

But he was probably just bristling like a cat on guard.

“When did you get to know me so well, hoobae?”

His face was smiling, but his words were sharp like a dagger.

It was a low-key warning not to say anything strange or out of line in front of the camera.

Since it was a program invested in by WH Entertainment, there was no way they would air a problematic scene involving Kang Yeonhu.

That action was deliberately meant to be edited out.

As expected, this guy was no ordinary person.

“Hoobae? What do you mean?”

But I wasn’t ordinary either.

“…Then what?”

Honestly, I didn’t like this opportunity from the start.

Having a script wasn’t my style, and the setup made the participants feel uncomfortable.

[- Yeonri (Lea Purple): (smile as if slightly embarrassed) Oppa! Don’t be so formal. Just call me Yeonri like usual.]

If my successor at my old network had heard I was doing a variety show with lines like this, they would have burned the project proposal right in front of me.

But.

I’ll make it fun.

So, follow me.

“Hyung, I’m hurt.”

I had a plan.

I lowered my gaze and smiled as if slightly embarrassed.n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

“Just call me Hoyun like usual.”

Clang!!

When she heard those words, Lea Purple’s maknae, holding a fork, dropped it to the floor.

[1] 가만히 있으면 중간이라도 간다

[2] We originally translated their group name as “Maz” but realized that it should had been “Mars.” Sorry!

[3]Episode 125 for the actual performance.

[4] Lea Purple’s Yeonri’s line was originally supposed to be “어떻게 이렇게 짜지 (salty) 않았을까요? 즐겁네요.” However, flustered and forgetting her line, she blurted out “짜장면” (jjajangmyeon) instead. It’s funnier in Korean.

[5]Episode 163