Returning to No Applause, Only More of the Same

Chapter 34, Home

What a nice girl, going so far as to show him where the police station was. It was a bit of a detour, but since he got home in the end, he couldnt complain.

...That is, if this actually was home. The building was large, having several floors and many balconies. It was right beside a park, too, so he knew this was it. But once he went inside, he couldnt help but find himself a fair bit confused. Ah, though, now that he took a look around, besides the potted cactus in the corner, there was actually a wall of named slits, likely for letters. And one of these was titled Samantha and George Wiedemann, 621. Mysterious numbers that likely indicated in which part of the house they lived in.

He was in the right house, but he didnt know which apartment they lived in specifically. Likely the 621th one, whatever that meant.

There was only one way to find out. Kreig started climbing stairs.

By the first floor, when he took a peek at the apartments there, he found that they were all titled 1XX. They had to be on the sixth floor. No worries, hed be there momentarily.

And he was.

The climb took a mere two minutes, ending with him standing outside the door of the Wiedemanns, number 621. Kreigs own body easily dwarfed it. The upper frame was at the level of his chin if he stood with a straight back. He had to hunch down just to get his eyes in the frame. Even then, he didnt dare knock. What if his knuckles rapping against the door broke it? What if he made a real loud sound and ruined something? What if he-,

Oh. There was a doorbell.

Kreig swallowed deeply, tried not to think about breaking it, and carefully pressed the small button. A lovely chime resounded from inside the apartment, followed by hurried footsteps and the door slamming open on his chest. Since Kreig was standing quite close to the door, whoever was trying to open it couldnt get it open at all. The person in question peeked out from the small gap possible. It was Sam. -Kreig? Kreig! Youre here! Okay, um, hold on, step back a little.

Kreig took a step back, giving Sam enough space to swing open the door fully. A small smile shyly pulled at her lips. She was wearing an apron too, and a sort of cloth tied around her head. A chemical kind of smell seemed to linger around not only her but the apartment as a whole. Come in! Weve-, uh, we were told youd come, so! a proud grin spread across her face, -weve been fixing up the place!

Sam stepped to the side, allowing Kreig to hesitantly enter.

The first thing that hit him was how terribly everything smelled, every spotless surface covered in an approximate imitation of actual nice smells like citrus or rose. It made him want to wrinkle his nose and leave. He couldnt even appreciate how there wasnt any garbage anywhere or how he couldnt see any cobwebs around the lamps and how the floor was swept. None of that stuck with him in the least.

Bad smell. He wanted to leave. But he remained.

So? How is it? We didnt have time to clean up a lot of parts, but I mean, can you tell? You cant, right?... Sam asked, stepping up to stand beside him.

He could tell a lot of things. For one, he could tell that the bread on the table was collecting a nice assortment of different moulds, and that their ceiling fan hadnt been cleaned on the other side. But he was a guest, and they were his hosts. Never show unkind behaviour to your host or lord. No, I cannot.

Sam breathed a sigh. Phew. Thank fuck. Youre a regular mystery, you know that? He did not, in fact, know that. But it wasnt his place to point out. Youll be sleeping in the-, George! George peeked his head out of a door down the hall. He seemed tired. There, that room. Youll be sleeping in the guest room. Calling it a guest room is Well, what it used to be isnt important. Right now, its got a bed and a nightstand and a desk. Therefore, its a guest-room. Not a yeah.

Georges eyes fell on Kreig. Uh. Hi. Im not Sam, Im not done yet, will you please take the time to present some other part of the apartment while I finish up?

Sam, who had seemed fully intent on bringing Kreig to the guest room, now stalled in her tracks. Youre not-, wow. Shit, okay, uhhh, this is the living room! Weve got a couch, and a tv, and a PS4 and thats about it. Um. And also this lamp? Yeah. Neat lamp, huh? It It was. It really was. If Kreigs eyes werent going bad, it seemed like the lamp was not, in fact, connected to anything. Hed learnt to accept electricity by now. But cordless electricity You have seen lamps before, right? Cuz if you havent, I can No, actually, I cant explain batteries to you. Dont throw them into nature. Thats about all I know.

Sam seemed silently upset at being unable to explain things properly. Kreig didnt mind. While Sam cursed herself, he had in equal silence strode up to the lamp to absolutely make sure that it didnt have a cord. It did not.

Magic. Mustve been an artefact. Or something of that ilk, he didnt really know all that well.

-Okay, so, this here is the kitchen. Right beside the living room. Very useful to go get snacks quickly. Mhm mhm, she pulled open the fridge, do you, uh, what do you eat? Krupke never told me what you ate, so we sort of just bought a bunch of things in a haste Like meat and potatoes. And a chocolate cake. Yknow, to to celebrate. If youd like that? As Kreig leaned over her to peer inside the fridge (a fantastic thing), he found that it did indeed contain a chocolate cake. It had a 7 on it, alongside the words Happy Birthday Champ spelt out in frosting. Yeah, heh, thats Ignore that, it was all they had-,

Thank you, Kreig said, his eyes transfixed on the cake. Tonight will be glorious, indeed.

Oh? That so? Sam replied, a smile finding its way back onto her face. Unlike when theyd been down there, she seemed quicker to smile now, though Kreig wasnt sure what had changed.

Though, as he noticed one thing, he realized there was one thing he had to say in regards to things he ate. No mushrooms.

Huh? Uh, okay. Sure. No mushrooms Ill be sure to tell George, hes the cooker of us, Sam said, nodding deeply before standing back up fully. She clapped her hands. Okay! Weve done the kitchen and the living room, that leaves us with the bathroom and the two bedrooms Uh, you know how to use a toilet, right? Dont you?

I dont need to.

You dont-, dude, thats damn ominous. Okay, um Well skip the bathroom. Just keep your hands washed so you dont spread any germs around. Kreig decided not to mention the fact that his race didnt allow for such dirty creatures to live on or inside his body. That leaves our bedrooms Uh. Do you need to see them? I mean, I dont mind showing mine, but George might be a bit more Well, whatever. Lets go!

Sam proceeded to lead Kreig through the apartment, past the guest-room and into a room to the left of one that Kreig rightfully assumed to be the restroom. Sams room was rather large, had a nice bed, and was designed in a very similar way to how a baboon would design their cave, had they had one. The most aesthetically pleasing thing to be found was a string of ball lights handing over a window. The rest was mostly themed with dragons. A shelf of dragon figurines, a dragon-themed bed-covering, dragon plushies.

She clearly had a style, but to Kreig, who had lived most of his life in a world where dragons were decidedly not mythical, seeing so many of them was like a Swede coming to Germany to find a man obsessed with mooses as if they didnt exist. It was jarring in an odd way he couldnt explain.

Heh, yeah, um. This is I can explain? Actually, I cant. Dragons are just straight awesome. What more do I need to say? Sam said. Going by her lazy smirk and crossed arms, Kreig could somehow tell that she, in secret, enjoyed his reaction.

She wouldnt for long. Ive killed four dragons. It was true.

Watching her entire body language drain away into horror and shock told him everything about her mental state. You-, you-, you-?! No. Wait. Hold on. She slapped her cheeks with both hands. Get it together, Sam! Priorities! Does that-, if youve. Um. Are there dragons in the otherworld?

...Did they not know that?