On Astral Tides: From Humble Freelancer To Astral Emperor

Four Hundred And Ninety-Four

As the brilliant golden lightning, blazing so brightly it should have been impossible to look at, like staring at the sun, struck me, I tensed. Despite the radiance, I could see it in perfect clarity, and another bolt careened into Tamamo-no-Mae in my arms, despite my best efforts to shield her, and the same golden aura surrounded her. Time seemed to stop for a moment, and then the pain began.

Calling it pain is an understatement… My whole body was immersed in simultaneous burning and freezing, like electric currents of incredible amperage flashing through every cell, every nerve, vein and artery. I was rightly proud of the durability of my body, and even damaged as it was from the frozen space the monk commanded, my flesh sloughed off in places, my body blue and cold, I believed I could handle the strike. However, the agony was beyond anything I had ever experienced. And these last few months I’ve become an expert in pain. I guess there’s always a new experience to be had…

I quickly lost vision, my eyes starting to fizz and steam, and the remaining icy energy and poison afflicting me was expelled, golden lightning burning it to ashes. Several drops of black ooze, the impurities my body had largely rejected due to my Spirit Water, also oozed out, though that merely flared higher the torment I was feeling, now my very bones feeling as if they were cooking from the inside. For a moment my world contracted, only the brilliant radiance and the pain my companions in my searing solitude.

No, that’s… not right. I could feel the weight of someone in my arms. Tamamo-no-Mae. She was shuddering now, despite her seeming mindlessness, the lightning must have been tormenting her too. Unable to do anything but feel her, I forced aether to surge into my Eye, and suddenly I could see again, though only with half my vision, and everything had a strange, amber tint, colours going from a gradient of grey to gold, like an old black-and-white cartoon from the olden days, just with filters overlaid.

He's there, too… The Saint of Swallowed Sorrows, that terrible old monk, who I had wounded badly with the power of Radiance made from Foehn, which was even enough to defeat the clone of that bastard toad in Kyoto, had also been caught by the lightning, and the almost molten fury of it was seeping into his body where the Foehn had burned into him, cooking him from the inside. One of his eyes was useless too, having burst, golden flickers visible in the charred socket, but seeing me looking, his lips quirked into a hateful grin, though again, everything was happening in slow motion, time nearly having halted for us. Managing to glance down, I could see Tamamo-no-Mae was burning up, naked now, her rags of clothing turning to ash, the fur on her tails and ears, her hair, all starting to blaze into flame. Her eyes were still lifeless, but I fancied I could see a trace of pain within, though that might have been a projection of my own thoughts, or a trick of the strange way I was seeing things now.

This… shit, this isn’t good… My teeth ground together so hard that several shattered, and silver and crimson blood was gouting from my body, only to turn to golden steam and vanish. The lightning strike was so powerful it seemed to be disintegrating me from the inside out. Worse, despite my heightened resistance to pain my high stats gave me, the agony was fogging my mind, making it hard to concentrate.

Certain death, but less certain after the Quest. It’s a Quest for the Avalon, the scabbard of Excalibur that grants invincibility. It would be nice to not be burned to death by the damn lightning, but… I don’t see it. The Avalon is for Eleanor, surely. So I wouldn’t have it, that can’t be the answer… I have to survive this first…

My Silver Connection blazed, as I directed the rampaging lightning into it. The agony suddenly intensified, and for a moment my mind, my very spirit, seemed disconnected. A thick strand of golden lightning then roared into action, travelling to the Material, where my other body was largely motionless, all my Split Thoughts working to keep me sane from the torture I was suffering. As it did so, my body began to smoke, exuding droplets of foul impurity, flesh charring, bones smouldering. But at least… at least it’s taking a third of the punishment. Now…

Ether Healing surged within me, desperately trying to patch up the dissipating ash that was my body and spirit. It was then that I realised my world wasn’t just my two selves, the arrogant monk, Tamamo-no-Mae and the lightning, but a series of overlapping, nonsensical whispers, all feminine in nature, ranging from childlike, curious voices, through to sultry adult moans and ancient, wizened croaks.

The mysterious syllables were now almost like poems, perhaps having some sort of meaning that I didn’t understand. It was giving me something to cling to other than the pain and my amber-coloured vision, so I let the sounds wash into me, only to notice a rictus grin on the face of the old monk. In fact, now the puzzling, nonsensical poems were resolving themselves into things I could understand, though I wasn’t sure if it was real, or my mind playing tricks on me.

“Here lies a fool, little novice beyond his depths.”

“Challenging the Heavens, little boy who barely knows the world.”

“Foolishness and recklessness, little hope of survival.”

“Two sides of the same coin, little dreams lost in thunder.”

“Come with us, little fool who faces oblivion!”

Through my vision I could see faint ghostly beings drifting around us, drawn in by the lightning and the great tear it had opened in the Sessho-seki, as well as the Boundary above. At first, they were mere spectres, nearly intangible, yet as I listened to the continuing songs and poems, they became more real. They were women, of all ages, from young children to old hags, yet all were beautiful, inhumanly so, reminding me of Shiro or Tsukiko, with long hair and delicate skin of innumerable shades, from the palest alabaster white, through to the darkest, umbral black. When they noticed I could see them, they gleefully approached, deftly avoiding the searing flashes of golden lightning that wreathed me, hands reaching out, touching me gently, running fingers over my burnt, carbonised flesh in wonder, their touch bringing momentary flaring agony, and then somehow cool relief.

“Still alive.” one said in wonder. Her words were in a language I certainly didn’t speak, yet the ripples of her spiritual energies, her Qi, were transmitted to me. I felt I could have resisted it, but I saw no need, wrapped up as I was in trying to stop the ravages of the lightning burning me alive.

“Yes, where is this world? We followed the Tribulation, but…” A second strange woman agreed, her long hair tickling me, her fingers poking at my burned forehead, giggling harmoniously. “…you are not much of a Cultivator, Although…”

“This Eye. It sees us. How wonderful. Do you think mother would like it?” A small, childlike girl with golden-yellow skin asked.

“Work of the Gods, it seems.” Another agreed, tracing my right wrist.

“This one hears us, but…” A woman gently tapped the head of the blazing Tamamo-no-Mae. “…empty inside. Mostly. A shame. But maybe…” She grinned them, and it was coldly beautiful, but also somehow filled me with trepidation, even overcoming my pain for a moment. “…I am hungry to visit such a lower world. Perhaps as a vessel…”

“I want his spirit…” Another woman eyed me hungrily, and as I listened she became tangible, her presence like a line drawing, gradually being filled in by shape and colour, every detail of her springing into focus. She was tall and slender, but with curves in all the places men desired, her lips plump and moist. “…do not worry, little Cultivator. It is a much more pleasant fate to fail your Tribulation to us than the Heavenly Lightning, or the Hellish Fire. The Chaotic Wind we drift in on… is soothing and calm. Not rigid and harsh like the Waters of Law. Surrender to me and know joy. It has been a while…”

“Sister, you devoured that would-be Earth Immortal just two hundred years ago.” Another beautiful woman protested, and voices were raised in chorus, calling her out. Her fingers dug sharply into me, and for a second the nails sent sparks of pleasure and pain through my nerves, at odds with the boiling lightning.

“Too late.” The monk mouthed at me. “We are unfortunate indeed, that they have come. But this furious monk… shall… endure. Amitabha. I see nothing, I hear nothing. Amitabha. I feel nothing, I touch nothing. Amitabha. I tase nothing, I am nothing. Amitabha. I have no mortal flesh, I am a Saint that Swallows all Sorrows, until vengeance is mine!”

“Why are we here, sister?” one young girl asked, puzzled. “This one is just at the very start of his journey, and that one…” Many of the ghostly women were flitting around the monk, trying to get his attention, whispering in his ears incessantly. “…is all wrong. This is a lesser Tribulation, of Purifying Lightning, not one of Chaotic Wind. He is a Saint, but is not one…”

The woman trying to persuade me to relinquish myself to her tightened her hands, nails piercing me deeper, sparks of golden lightning jumping from my flesh, burning her. As she yelped, sucking on her tender fingers, the beautiful marble skin marred by vivid burns, she pondered. “Something has gone very wrong. This is not a world able to support Immortals. But no matter. Content yourself with the false Saint, sisters, I lay claim to this one. His spirit fascinates me…”

As the others grumbled, throwing their complaints at their sister, I seized my chance. I only left the barest strand of consciousness in my Astral body, forcing all my Split Thoughts to focus on my Material form. Shit. What the hell are they? My entire body was trembling as I was touched, and worse, her words tempted me to give in, the pain I was fighting too incredible. Looking up at the sky, volcanic ash and pumice raining down from overhead, my body wreathed with golden electricity, I grimaced. This is only a momentarily relief, time to gather my thoughts. If this is why I would be killed, does that mean it’s these women who are responsible? Thinking was painfully slow, much like the passage of time. Since we were struck by the lightning, it was as if we were slightly out of step with reality. The only mercy was that with my distorted vision, I saw that Shaeula and the others weren’t caught up in it.

So, all or nothing. Honestly, even with the power of the lightning split across two bodies, I can’t resist it. What to do? No, one problem at a time. I may not be able to resist the destructive purification of the lightning, but I can delay it, so I need to focus on the bigger problem. And that’s…

Rebalancing my Split Thoughts, my Astral Body surged into action. Grimacing, I released Prominence Dusk, and the traces of Heavenly Lightning flashed out, striking the woman. She screamed, her cheek marked by three narrow burns, and she raised one perfect hand to it, eyes shining with wonder. “You… you would wound me? How… unexpected.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t like hurting women, but… I also believe in equality.” I made a bitter joke and didn’t stop my attacks there. Spirit Water and light element seemed the best idea, so I unleashed water bullets and beams of light focussed to laser-like intensity. The woman, caught unawares, was struck several times, and let out pained cries, before a series of overlapping petals of beautiful crimson and violet surrounded her like armour, forming a human-sized lotus flower.

“He hit older sister…” the woman interested in Tamamo-no-Mae gasped in wonder. “How amusing. But he’ll suffer for it now.”

“Ràng hé huā zhàn fàng, líng qì shun xī, ràng hé huā zhàn fàng, fēng xiàng wàn wù dī yǔ. Ràng lián huā zhàn fàng. Yǒng yuǎn shuì zài wǒ de huái bào lǐ. Ràng lián huā sheng kāi, wèi lián huā yǐn liè jiǔ” 

A haunting song started up, monosyllabic and sounding to my ears vaguely Chinese, of the old Kunlun dialect the monk had first spoken, yet I couldn’t divine meaning from it, only that it mentioned lotus flowers and sleep. The ghostly women darted away, laughing and teasing, and then the flower opened, a brilliant crimson light shining forth, illuminating everything, followed by a breath of strong wind, shimmering like the finest imperial jade. The woman I had injured, her scarred face still achingly beautiful, looked at me with grim eyes. “Hungry for power to face the Heavens, mortals grow, Cultivate. They shed the concept of natural death and rise to the Realm of Saint. But that is not the end, merely a new beginning. Once the body is pure, the spirit chafes uncomfortably. Let your spirits free and give yourselves over to my hungry embrace! Empty Winds, let thy hollow spirit be filled! May your karmic deeds be my food and drink!”

The last thing I heard was a terrified groan from the old monk, and then jade energy swept over me, and I knew no more…

***

I opened my eyes with a faint moan. For a moment, I wasn’t sure where I was, only to panic, remembering I was being burned alive by lightning and attacked by strange women. But looking down, I realised I didn’t have a tangible existence, not did I truly open my eyes. It seemed as though I could once more see everything through my Mystic Eye, everything cast in glowing gold and amber. Where am I? What’s happening?

I tried to move my Split Thoughts around, feel my other bodies, but while I could tell they still existed, thankfully, the connection to them was so distant and tenuous it was like they were a million miles away. This is it then. Death, I suppose. But if so, the afterlife is sorely overrated. Glancing around, I could see I was in some sort of old-fashioned city, though not one I recognised, with buildings six or seven stories tall, but faced with ornate marble and jade, the streets narrow, with enough space for only foot traffic. An illusion or a dream, huh? But that means my real bodies…

A gentle breeze was blowing, and I felt a chill, despite having no form to speak of. Suddenly the empty streets were full of people, dozens, perhaps hundreds going about their daily business, wearing robes similar to what Daiyu favoured, close to traditional Chinese dresses for the women, just less daringly cut, with longer skirts and sleeves, while the men had their sleeves short, showing off perfectly honed muscles. Looking further out, I could see a magnificent series of halls and palaces on the peaks towards the centre of the city, with banners of finest silk hanging down, proclaiming that they were the home of powerful Sects. Ten Thousand Flower Throne, Heaven’s Limit, Eternal Dao Of Jade, and many more… wait, I understand the language? Separating out a Split Thoughts, I quickly ran through all the words I could think of, discovering meaning, storing them inside that instance for later consolidation. I realised I could understand the words of the Cultivators too, and curiously, I listened in.

“… the Kitsune courtesan is paying a visit to Ten Thousand Flower Throne’s halls once again. She seems very close with Matriarch Su.”

“Hush now. You’re merely at Golden Core, and you want to talk about the Saint of Brilliant Flowers? Her ears are everywhere!” Another Cultivator cautioned the speaker, and she shrugged.

“It just seems odd to me. Although if it was the Chained Phoenix Sect, I suppose it would be stranger. Trapping and controlling spiritual beasts is their forte, after all…”

“Oh, you would call me a beast? How… distasteful.” The Cultivator jumped, his face twitching in horror, and he turned to find a stunning woman looking at him. Her beautiful face could not be concealed, despite the bone-white powder makeup that covered her skin, and her rich golden hair, tinged with red as dark as crimson, gave her an otherworldly air. But what drew his attention was her colossal chest, barely held in by the thin fabric of the dress she wore. Then she fanned out her nine tails, forming a ring behind her, and let out a long, sensuous laugh. “Poor little me, a beast?”

“Oh…” the man flapped his mouth like a goldfish, stunned. Glancing around for support, he saw that his fellow disciple he was advising to keep silent had ditched him without a second thought, and the streets had emptied. Looking back, he desperately apologised. “Great Tamamo-no-Mae, I humbly apologise if I gave offense. I had heard you were at the Thousand Flower…”

She cut him off with a casual wave, and he swallowed, her raw sensuality making him flush, despite being no stranger to the pleasures of the flesh. “I am indeed visiting Caihong’er.” She addressed the Matriarch so casually the man goggled at her. “But I was bored, so went for a stroll. It is seldom I get to visit Kunlun. Many indeed label me a beast and try and claim me. Now, I am hardly…” she reached out one finger, stroking his cheek, drawing a thin line of blood with her manicured nail.  “…opposed to being dominated for a while, but… you Cultivators do love to go too far.” Her voice was a warning now.

“Yes, we… should give you more face, greatest of Yōkai…” The man stammered, blushing despite the danger he felt.

“Greatest? Hmm, old Nurarihyon or that brute Ōtakemaru may well disagree. But I am indeed as strong as I am beautiful. I am also so… very… bored. Don’t you want to make it up to me?” Her tone was seductive, and the man swallowed. His eyes lighting up, he grinned.

“It would be my honour, to show the greatest of foxes a fine time. My hall is not so far from here, so…” He paused, realising that she had turned upside down. No, it was he who had, his head tumbling to the ground, Tamamo-no-Mae licking blood from her fingers.

“Such a dull little man. Thinking I would forgive him so easily. Besides, not handsome or strong or beautiful enough. Not like Caihong’er. Now she is a sight to behold. And her daughter too…” Tamamo-no-Mae shivered, wrapping her tails around her as I watched the scene, and I wondered just what the point of this was, or if it was even real. I have to break this illusion, if that’s what it is. My body must be on its last legs. Sadly, no matter how I concentrated, I couldn’t seem to get out. I strained and I struggled, until I heard faint singing, and a sensuous voice sounded in my ear.

This is not your Tribulation. How fascinating. But it hardly hurts to have you watch. Now… every deed weaves a tapestry, and the threads strangle…

My vision shut off, and I was suddenly in a richly-appointed room, watching Tamamo-no-Mae and a stunningly beautiful woman, who looked in her late twenties, but likely was much older, her blue hair shining like the ocean, her face like a priceless porcelain mask, as they gazed down at a bowl of water. It revealed an image I recognised, of the monk who I had been battling, labouring over an intricate series of Formation plates that were set in a circle of steel some two metres in radius. Tamamo-no-Mae watched for a moment with feigned interest, before leaning back on the velvet sofa, reaching out to pull the woman close, but she shrugged the hand off.

“Enough, Mae’er. I promised you only that one time. Besides, this matter is serious.”

“Oh, so cold. My body heated up after punishing an insolent wretch earlier. Besides, you always say one time, but we have tasted each other on numerous occasions, no?” She wrapped her tails around the delicate legs of the woman, who snorted bitterly.

“You always entice me in the end, fox. Truly the most seductive being alive. But no, I mean it! Time is running out for Kunlun. And for us.”

“No, I shall always survive. Foxes are clever, you know, and I, the cleverest of all. How else could I have beguiled my way into your bed? I do like eager virgins, I admit, but you… your body only touched once, to make a daughter, then the father banished. So cold, but I admire it. Your heart was certainly virginal.”

The woman flushed lightly. “We have no room for men at Thousand Flower Hall. But I had no disciples who could breach Golden Core, not anymore. The spiritual power of the world declines apace. So, I needed to make a successor.”

Tamamo-no-Mae licked her lips, her delicate tongue red and luscious. Her lips were painted in shades of plum, and I watched on, fascinated, wondering if this was her true nature, before her capture. “And a worthy one she is. But she will never make Saint and unshackle her spirit from the mundane physical reality. Even if what you and those others plan comes to fruition, I hold little hope for her. Such a shame. So why not allow me to take to out of here? I promise to dote on her. It would please me, she is the image of you when younger, yet truly pure.”

“Never. My Liena will remain unsullied, resisting the ravages of time. Do not even think it!”

“Are you sure?” Tamamo-no-Mae shrugged. “All flowers are plucked eventually. But if not…”

“Fine. I will play with you, Mae’er.” Su Caihong sighed, defeated. As the nine-tailed fox gleefully undid the sash around her waist and started groping and biting on her bare flesh, Caihong groaned in pleasure, but also worry. “You say it will not work? Ah, careful…”

“I’ll not be careful, for that is no fun at all. I love it when you gasp and writhe…” Tamamo-no-Mae giggled. “I can imagine it is little Liena, craving my tongue, my hands and my tails. But yes… it will not work. Trust me. It’s ingenious, I admit. Trying to replicate the Hyakki Yagyō, Nurarihyon’s dark world, is an idea of some genius. But even with all your efforts, isolating Kunlun will only achieve a bitter result.”

“But what… what else can we do? No, not there, I am weak there…”

I’m glad I can’t feel my body. This is… rather stimulating, but it also makes me feel guilty, somehow. At least I’m getting information… I think?

“What else can we do? My path has stalled at Sainthood. I dare not face the Tribulation of Chaotic Winds. I… have no wish to face the Tiānyìèguǐnǚ. Not without growing far stronger. I have… done too much.”

“Who in this harsh world has lived a good life?” Tamamo-no-Mae raised her head, lips damp, and snorted. “But the Tiānyì will certainly adore you, I do.” Her bent down her head again, and gasps filled the room for a while, until Caihong spoke through her moans.

“I have no wish to be adored by those hungry beings who steal and consume spirits of those who fail their trials. Sometimes… ahn… oh… I think the Heavens are cruel. Why do we not get to live as you do, without such Heaven-shaking efforts?”

“Life is hardly fair. Besides, I have my own hardships.” Tamamo-no-Mae sighed, before the two of them entwined their bodies. I was unable to look away, but mercifully, after a while they finished, and more information was revealed to me.

“I hardly wish you to suffer in vain. There are few who live as long as I who I cherish.” Tamamo-no-Mae grinned, her expression vulpine. “But unless you venture out into the wider world, take shelter in the higher reaches, you will simply not endure… and you would have to abandon dear sweet Liena. No, if you are set on this plan… you must be ruthless. The Hyakki Yagyō is set at a hundred, so that Nurarihyon can support them all, prepared to abandon all others. But Kunlun… even sealed, even pillaging what little spiritual power remains in the surrounding lands, encouraging the collapse of the spiritual…. It will never work. Not without sacrifice.”

Caihong paused. “You mean… thin the herd?”

Tamamo-no-Mae nodded. “Either cast them out, or…” She drew a hand across her throat. “…safer dead. And the higher their Cultivation, the better. Keep only those you wish to hold close, and the prodigies you wish to nurture. The rest… they are simply drains on what little remains. Think of this like the Hyakki Yagyō, or an oasis in a drying desert. Deserts are fascinating things, you know? Life can still flourish, clinging to what little water there is, but only the ruthless, the mighty, can drink their fill…”

“I see.” There was silence, and she looked at the water again, seeing the monk work. “He has almost finished. And the Spirit Funnel…”

“It will rob the others to strengthen dear Liena. Well, that is the privilege of the strong, no? But it does mean…”

“More sacrifice?” Caihong said softly, and Tamamo-no-Mae merely stroked her hair.

“Yes. But better others sacrifice for you, than we do it ourselves.”

With those final words, the scene vanished, leaving me both confused and excited. Daiyu would love this, if it’s the true history of Kunlun. So, Tamamo-no-Mae was involved in the exile of Daiyu’s Sect, it seems, but the alternative…

I see. I did wonder why this world felt familiar yet seemed so strange. I have been here before. One of the orphaned worlds, rejoining the greater Astral at long last. And this empty fox speaks true. We sisters do love the proud, the beautiful, the handsome. Though we are not prejudiced, we consume all, our hunger not sparing the ugly, the cruel, the small-minded or the vicious, nor our thirst the virtuous, the beautiful, the kind… why should we? After all, we are as much bound to the will of the Heavenly Tribulations as you are… now… where are your burdens? You have done well holding together from the Purifying Lightning’s embrace, but your time runs short, like grains of golden sand falling through an hourglass. Now… show me your sorrows…

I felt a plucking at my spirit, my distant bodies quivering. I felt myself desperately reaching out, grabbing onto anything I could find, and I found something in my grip. It was warm, and furry, and then…

The scene shifted, and I was looking down at some very familiar people. That’s me. Eri and Aiko too. But we’re so young, and that’s… Moments later I was the one who shifted, and suddenly I was clutching one furry, muscled leg, claws scratching deep furrows into my arm, ripping through the thin cloth of my t-shirt. My body was small and frail, none of the muscle or strength I had now remaining, and the great dog, jaws agape, was trying to struggle free, aiming at the helpless girls behind me.

It's… that day. The dog. A panic surged through me, an instinctive phobia I could never quite shake, even now that no dog could ever threaten me again, nor Eri or my sister. Behind me, my sis and Eri were pale and shaking, and I could smell fear in their sweat and other liquids. With a growl, I swung my fists, knees, elbows, even my head. The dog sank his teeth into my stomach, blood spraying, teeth grinding against bone, but I didn’t give in, I couldn’t give in.

“This is boring.” I said suddenly. “I do regret this day. Because I wasn’t absolute. But now…” I turned back to the illusions of the past version of my precious family. “Eri, don’t cry. I’m fine, this is just the barking of a yapping dog. I love you. And when you’re older, we’ll get married, start a family. Although…” I grinned, embarrassed. “…you won’t believe what else we do.”

Eri’s expression changed, and she looked at me in wonder, before vanishing, along with a chunk of my regrets. I then spoke to my sister. “Aiko, you grow up strong too. Strong and kind. Sure, you’re a bit of an airhead and you do love mocking me, your kind older brother…” My lips quirked into a smile. “…but this isn’t your fault. You move on from here, and you stand up for those who need your protection. Why, even now, you came to save a fox trapped in torment for long centuries, knowing it was dangerous, because you have compassion. You… also won’t believe just how many sisters you have in the end…”

With that, Aiko also vanished, and I smiled. My sis really is foolish, but without her, Eri would have shattered like glass. I let her down here, because I wasn’t strong, but never again…

Such annoyance. You have complicated feelings towards the two of them. But it seems you no longer regret making them cry. The dog spoke, and I could see intelligence in her eyes. Oh, it’s… you? The Tiānyì?

Yes, I am a winged woman who hungers. It would have been easier to take you while wearing the flesh of your regrets. More satisfying for you in the end. Dying in the embrace of those you love… but alas, it is not to be. And this dog…

“Is useless.” I finished, slamming my fist down, and the skull exploded. With it went my final traces of distaste for dogs. “You know, children like pets, don’t they? Maybe I’ll get my daughter a dog. A kind, quiet one, one that’ll look out for her.”

The scene blurred again, putting me in darkness, and then the golden sheen returned over my vision, which had been gone during the previous scene. Now I could see we were in Kunlun again, but the surrounds were different. The sky looked like that of the Boundary, dark aurorae surging overhead, and silver snow was falling, glittering with rainbows of colour.

Tamamo-no-Mae looked down at the numerous corpses at her feet, her expression terrible. “You bastards. Treacherous snakes.” She spat blood, her own clothes torn and shredded, bare flesh criss-crossed with deep wounds. Behind her lay the bodies of Su Caihong and Su Liena. Fortunately, they still breathed, though their wounds were grave.

“Wasn’t this your idea, fox?” the Patriarch of the Chained Phoenix Sect, Zixin, declared with a sneer. Behind him were members of a number of other important Sects, as well as tamed spiritual creatures. “Thin the herd, so that Kunlun may endure? I am not like her, I will go beyond Sainthood. But to do so needs unfathomable resources…” He grinned, pointing to the Spirit Funnel Formation he had stolen. “Besides, she refused to entertain any of us. A great shame, for such a talented bloodline to only have one daughter and refuse to allow her to marry too.”

“Shame?” Tamamo-no-Mae drew on all of her spiritual power, great foxfires springing to life around her, towering overhead like fiery pillars. Even wounded, she was no weakling, and her boiling rage was fuelling hatred. I watched on, feeling sorrow for her. Yes, I imagined that she herself had perpetrated many such tragedies, but clearly Su Caihong hadn’t chosen to massacre indiscriminately. After all, the monk had only been exiled from Kunlun, not killed. “You do not know the meaning of the word, wretch. If you think you can chain me, you are mistaken… if I must burn away my life, I will see you all perish with me, you most of all, Zixin, I swear it, just as you Cultivators do!”

His grin faltered, and some of the others shrank back. Seeing that, he cursed. “Tamamo-no-Mae. I know your name, yet you resist my binding. I find this most vexing. After all, I am the greatest Tamer that has ever lived!”

“I shall leave, before Kunlun is fully isolated.” Tamamo-no-Mae ignored him, glaring at the others behind him. “I shall take away Caihong’er and Liena too. That fulfils your needs. If you try and stop me…” she growled. “…try me. Your eyes cannot see the peaks you are trying to climb!”

“You think I’ll…” the Patriarch began, but several other Cultivators stopped him, crying out it wasn’t worth dying over. He glowered, his expression hateful, but eventually jerked his head. “Go then, bitch. And take those two corpses with you. Just pray we never met again, as I will not rest until you are chained at my feet, licking my toes like the beast you are.”

“I have submitted to many and forced many to submit. But you…” Tamamo-no-Mae backed off, grabbing the two dying Cultivators with her tails. “…I would chew off my tongue before I tasted you, Zixin, you bastard.”

With that she leapt away, and suddenly her eyes changed, and I realised that the one trapping me here had returned. You were both struck by the Heavenly Lightning, so your trial is also her trial. Though she has already failed. Her shreds of mind left are unable to resist. My sister has already stolen her flesh. Does this grieve you?

“Lots of things grieve me.” I said slowly. The scene shifted, and Tamamo-no-Mae was looking at a pair of coffins of mystical ice, a familiar figure, the great horned Bintara, looking on with a serious expression.

“You owe Great Nurarihyon much for this aid.” She declared, and the fox shrugged.

“It seems unfair, considering you could not help.” The fox sneered, her expression as cold as the ice.

“You asked, and I tried. I am the Bitan, and I am a great healer, but I am not infallible. The wounds are beyond me to treat. But here… they shall sleep for eternity.” Bintara paused, glancing at Tamamo-no-Mae. “It is hardly like you to be so concerned for others. I know a number of your daughters and granddaughters, those that you have not killed. They all speak of your lusts, your amusements, your follies…”

“And they speak true.” she retorted, weary, grey streaking her hair and the fur on her tails. “…but also malign me. I shall punish them, if I ever see them in the future.” Her smile was wry, showing her teeth. “But just as I can be cruel, I can also be kind. Living by my whims, doing as I please… it is a fulfilling life, but also empty. That is the dichotomy of me, I fear. One day…” She looked at the coffins, shaking her head. “…perhaps one day I will meet someone who can tame me, make me kiss their feet, but it will never be that foul bastard. To be forced to heel… that is the one pleasure I have never tried, has always eluded me. And it would likely be the last…”

“To think that you could persuade Sekka to use so much of her strength for this…” Bintara said, her breath blowing mist into the cold air. The cave they were in was covered in frost, the pillars wound with beautiful flowers of ice, in many colours. “…but even her frozen coffins cannot stop time entirely. They will die, just as winter follows autumn.”

“Maybe so, but…” She pointed to the delicate array carved into metal beneath the frozen edifice. “…the craft of mortals sometimes surprises even me. I had to offer much to have a master of what the mortals call the Six Noble Pursuits create this space. It will seal itself, and time will slow to a crawl, like the imperceptible melting of the great glacier Sekka surrounds herself with…. It is ironic. I pressed for Caihong’er to end him, but she felt guilty since he did craft her a wonderful Formation. Stolen now…” she growled. “But this is its equal. No, it surpasses it. A shame though… I had nothing to offer in payment that could satisfy the human. He did not even wish for my body. So I lied. He is quite unfortunate, being cheated twice over…”

Yes, the threads of destiny do converge. A river of selfish, petty deeds, leading to retribution. Can you bear her sins? Can you shoulder her karma? Was her fate wrong? Yes, she suffered, but she also owed him a great debt, twice over.

“Should I have to?” I would have shrugged if I had a physical form here. “She’s cruel, capricious and as worrisome as I feared, from what I can see, assuming these visions are true ones. But this vision is not one to bear. She tried to save those she cared for. There’s no sins here.” I spoke up. Okay, so lying to that monk was bad, making him waste years of his life… but if I had to do the same to save someone I loved… “Hey, Tamamo-no-Mae…”

The fox flicked her ears, turning. “Who is there? Why can I not see you? Are you a shade, haunting me? I will not let you defile this place!”

“Don’t mind me, I’m passing through. But I wanted to say… while doing good never balances out the bad… you should feel proud of what you’ve done here, carrying them from Kunlun, saving their lives.”

As Tamamo-no-Mae turned to me in surprise, I then addressed Bintara.

“As for you, Bintara. In the future you help me out healing a very dear friend of mine. So… thank you! As one who heals, you have done a lot of good. Yōkai or not, I just wanted you to know many people appreciate you!”

The Bitan looked at where I felt I was, shocked, and then vanished, puzzling Tamamo-no-Mae more. “What… where did she go… oh… is… that it?” She smiled. “Show yourself, Tiānyì. I am no Cultivator, but I know your games. I am trapped in your Chaotic Winds, or…” Her expression suddenly fell, her eyes rolling mockingly. “No, I am the mere falsehood? I see…”

“Real or false, it’s all the same.” I declared. “Just… know that you do suffer for everything you’ve done, so… I think you paid enough.”

“I see. I am merely a shade, someone else’s Tribulation. Though if you are that bastard Zixin, I’ll kill you, even if I am not real!”

“No need for that.” I sighed. “Anyway, just know you had one granddaughter who implored me to save you. Not… not everyone hates you.” I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Sure, if I saw her many other scenes of violence, cruelty and betrayal, I’d likely feel less sympathy, but… while she is certainly cruel, the way she beheaded that Cultivator for nothing more than an idle insult, the way she casually suggested a massacre in Kunlun for the benefit of those she cares for… “I have a question. How long will these ice coffins last?”

She seemed surprised. “I have no idea. They were meant to buy time, and the Formation to create a space called the Time-Killing Ice-Stone.” At her words, everything that happened up to now made sense. Yes, seeing this, it really makes me believe in Fate, Destiny and Karma. How could I not? “But Sekka is skilled, and despite their grave wounds, they will cling to life tenaciously. If they breathe a breath every ten thousand, then perhaps a thousand years…”

I see. Damn, it’s too tight, timewise, but… Bintara must be more skilled now, and I’m certainly a good Healer… “In that case, tell me where the Time-Killing stone lies. I’ll aid them…” From what little I saw of Caihong, she was as fair as she could be during hard times, doing everything for her daughter’s sake…

Tamamo-no-Mae looked at me, green eyes wide, before suddenly letting out a laugh. “Good luck with your Tribulation. Should you break the bounds of Sainthood and see what mystery lies truly beyond… kill that worthless scum Zixin if he still lives, and…” She vanished, leaving only a lingering whisper in the air.

…thank you. I pray they still live, and can wake to a world better off without me in it…

“Wait, no, you didn’t tell me where they were!” I shouted, frustrated, and her final thoughts didn’t sit well with me. “Shit. Fuck!” I swore vehemently. “She may be a villain, but she’s at least self-aware enough to feel repentant, isn’t she? Can I carry her karma? Fuck off, nameless woman. She should carry it herself, otherwise what’s the point? I may be a hypocrite, but I believe in redemption.”

Oh, I see. This is both rather uninspiring and also rather fascinating. How unexpected. The false Saint is having a far more fun Tribulation, my sisters are shredding his resolve inch by inch. Besides, I have a name, angry little boy… you have barely lived a few years, and you dare to take that tone with me?

“I am she that blows on the winds… wings of jade expanding bright… I hunger for those who fly too high… for the road upwards is against the Heavens… so those who try and walk that path… I lead astray and take them hither.”

That’s a name? That’s not a name…

How rude. My name is a song, a poem, just as my mother’s name is, and my sisters, and all my kind. But you are foolish. This is the past, but merely an illusion. Even with the great Dao of Time, the clock only ever ticks forwards. There is no overturning of past regrets. Now… you waver, your body failing, Lightning purifying you to ash. Would it not be more pleasant to be wrapped in my jade wings, and let me take you higher, seeing the path you do not deserve to walk for a brief moment before your spirit fades away? For amusing me here, I would do you that honour.

I felt a great surge of temptation to listen to her, but remembering the look in Eri’s eyes as she vanished, in Aiko’s, in Tamamo-no-Mae’s, even in Bintara’s, I focused. I can’t really feel my body, so I can’t use any elements, but… With a grin, I forced my consciousness down, slamming into the sharp corner of the ice coffin nearest me. Blood bloomed, the cold ice turning pink, and I felt pain. “No thanks. I never meant to walk that road. Yet. But one day, Daiyu and I will talk it together, along with any others who wish to follow us. Right now, I’m just here to save Tamamo-no-Mae. For a promise I made, and to help my seeds grow and bear fruit.”

The frozen cavern vanished, and I was in darkness once more, but now when I concentrated, I could see flashes of green and gold in the dark and hear whispering voices. “So, what next?” I asked, my voice swallowed by the void. “I have more regrets, you know? And I’m sure Tamamo-no-Mae has no end of things you could show me… but like you said, we’re both in a hurry. If I die to the lightning, nobody wins, right… uh… Hisui? Or maybe Tsubasa?” Jade or wings. Both are good names for girls in Japanese.

There was silence from the Tiānyì. Moments later I thought I heard phantom laugher, many voices, young and old, overlapping, mocking and teasing. Silence! You are trying my patience. But… Hisui shall do. You are certainly brave, in the face of death. But… you both carry so many regrets. Very well then… see if you can divest yourself of them all… after all, the hands of time only move forwards, and mistakes can never be undone…

And then the scene changed again, and I found myself at my lowest point…