Housekeeper of the Hundred Blossom Palace

Chapter 193: The Horrifying Truth of Addiction

Jiang was taken away, and silence fell in the courtyard once more.

However, Xu was no longer in the mood to stay in this place, so they opted to return to her room.

That girl Jiang Qing, shed been so used to using abusive words, did she badmouthed me all this while? I cant believe Ive been hated to this extent.

Xu muttered gloomily as they headed towards her room.

Thats

The warden was troubled as if he made a mistake when he heard what Xu said, and he hung his head.

He probably wanted to comfort Xu, but he might end up pouring salt on her wounds.

The art of conversation also requires experience, so Yui Mei knew the guy couldnt be blamed. She watched over them without a word.

Xu seemed like she didnt notice the guys predicament, and she continued speaking.

Maybe I shouldve just put up with everything she put me through, but seems like that wasnt enough, didnt it? Was everything I made her do just a burden?

Miss Xu, thats not for us to decide at this time.

Yui Mei promptly determined so.

We cannot simply chalk her badmouthing as her true thoughts. Moreover, such behavior is precisely the damage done by addiction to the poppy juice.

What do you mean?

Xu asked Yui Mei, and it seemed that Libin and the warden also thought the same.

And so, Yui Mei decided to explain it more fully.

No matter who it is, we all have times when we want to make the person were talking too feel good, so we compliment them. There are also other times when we want to spout insults, right? We navigate the path called conversation by skillfully managing those emotions within us.

People would consider the things they wanted to say during a conversation whether their partner would feel bad or happy talking about a particular topic, and whether they would agree or not. Such considerations are usually done in an instant as the person guides the conversation into one that would make herself feel good.

Even if something bad suddenly pops into her mind, she would think first that it might not be something she should say, so she would push that nasty thought deep into her heart and shut it down.

However, if the negative thoughts and insults accumulate, no matter how much she tries to hold them back, they would still burst out.

This principle isnt limited to badmouthing.

Restraining and holding back for far too long would also cause one to explode in anger one day.

Thus, its also important to know that no matter what sort of emotions it is, holding back wont be good for our mental health in the long run.

However, if a person suffers from addiction, the door that holds back such emotions within her heart collapses.

And what will happen if someones heart that is filled with grudges breaks down?

It will be extremely tempting for a person to just let those insults and abusive words out, to make a mountain out of a molehill, when in reality, such words dont have to be uttered at all. 

Moreover, its very easy to curse even if you dont really feel like doing it.

If someone keeps on slandering others, then its only natural that the people around her will keep their distance.

She will keep on spouting insults and abuse, but once she regains her sanity after the medicine wears off, she will find that theres no one around her anymore.

 Even if she regrets it, she will not be able to return to how she was prior to her addiction. Shes actually pitiful.

Yui Mei finished with those words.

Perhaps, Jiang had shut that door to the insults in her heart a little too loosely.

Thus, even after the effect of poppy juice wore off after some time passed, that door might have already become unrepairable.

It would all make sense if this was taken into consideration.

The wardens eyes were like round saucers, apparently unable to follow Yui Meis train of thoughts, but Libin nodded, apparently in understanding.

I see. I thought what a dirty mouth she acquired, but if it turns out that she can no longer speak without spouting insults, then shes pitiful, indeed.

Yeah, its true that no matter what kind of complaints we have, we have to swallow it down and smile at our customers. Else, if we cant even do that, then were already finished. What a foolish girl. Jiang Qing couldve been a first rate biwa player even without resorting to such tricks.

Sorrow was painted on Xus face as she spoke those words.