Chapter 57: Inside Out (4)
Chapter 57: Inside Out (4)
.Hah. My fucking goodness.
Woojin, who had been glaring at Gyosu while grabbing him by the collar, let go and sat back down as he let out a deep sigh.
Oi, Metal Jaw.
Flinch!
W-What! Im already healed up here. I dont need your help! Its clean! I tied it up just right!
Stop blabbering on and give me a cigar.
Ians expression scrunched up at Woojins request.
Hah Old Man, do you know just how many cigars you took from me? Just off the top of my head, I can count more than a sack of them, and with that, I could have gotten a new, clean chopper at the marke
So, you cant give me one?
..
Whoosh
Grab!
Thanks.
Nukes must kill ghosts, too, seeing that an old man like you is still alive.
Ian gave up and opened his pocket. He could have just stuck up and not given it to him, but that made it very likely for that old man to become aggressive. Ian was a man who could sacrifice a single cigar for a comrade who was in the grasp of a beast.
Dangle dangle.
Jaw boy.
What now? I dont have ones with filters!
Not that. Your lighter.
Glare!
Ian barely managed to suppress the curse words that bubbled up in his throat, then took out a silver zippo lighter and threw it to him with all his strength.
Clack!
Thanks.
Go die in a hole, old man.
Click pop!
Tsh. Tsh.
Woojin lit the cigar and took a deep breath. As if the fury of the devil within him was coming out with the smoke, peace was returning to his expression.
Haaaaahhhh. Jaw boy, you should go to the cigar field when that gunpowder job goes out of business. They say theres no such thing as coincidence in the world. It must have been fate for me to pick your body up in that truck in the Wasteland so I could smoke these cigars of yours. Hmm. Maybe its because I didnt buy these that theyre spectacular.
..Hwak-tu.
When Ian spit in the spittoon that was in the corner of the treatment room, the old man cackled as if that was the funniest sight in the world.
As Gyosu watched the man that was just furious at him laughing now, he let out an exasperated sigh.
If there were any other doctor in the Wasteland, I wouldnt have needed to come here. Im getting therapy from a freaking bipolar.
Dont set the pre-Great Disaster as your standard. Bipolar disorder is nothing compared to the guys that are suicidal or have some sort of PTSD or schizophrenia.
Woojin shut Gyosus mouth with that one statement and casually returned the lighter to Ian. When the room filled up with smoke from the two peoples cigars, Vex crawled out of wherever he was, and Woojin opened his mouth again.
Possession.. Gyosu Park, didnt you quit that game? You said you felt guilty that your parents data was copied inside the game and that you were scared you were still going to run back to them.
Haaahhh. I did say that. And I still feel that way. But you cant survive in the Wasteland just by doing what you want to.
Gyosu made a complicated expressionpartially bitter and partially nostalgicas he recapped the events of the past 12 days. It was ridiculous when he thought about it. His generator broke down, so he started a conceptual lets play. And then he met Notum and went into Touran as a mercenary and met Charlotte and Edeorna. Then he was in massive debt from Koduros dumb mistake and got caught up in the treasure-hunting event in Area 45 on his way to Area 43, where he met the two friends behind him that were listening to his story with widened eyes. Then he became a test subject and recovered from the trauma of his mother, met Hyde, and destroyed a mage tower. Even while he was saying everything, he couldnt believe that this all happened within a span of twelve days. Even considering the fact that time was five times slower than reality, there were still too many different events that happened.
Woojin closed his eyes and quietly listened to the words that flowed out of Gyosus mouth.
..And so, this Hyde guy is now living inside my head. I dont know exactly what made this possible, but according to this guy, its a dumb idea to think about the past. And I do agree with him. Theres enough to worry about just by thinking about the future, so I dont need any more worrying on my plate.
Hmm.. What aninteresting story. Possession has been a hot issue in the Community for a while now.
After Woojin completely smoked the cigar Ian gave him to the very tip and spat out the ashes in his mouth, he started speaking with a serious expression.
Gyosu Park. I have a million things I want to say, but lets get this part straight. You like that Hyde guy, dont you?
What?
This old man really must have lost it. What was he talking about?
Is that.. some sort of narcissism or something?
I dont know. When I was listening to your story, you seemed to be pretty. positive every time you talked about that parasite or something. Even after that thing went through your memories, brought up your trauma, and even took control over some of your body.
I did that?
Woojin frowned at Gyosus confused expression. He didnt really have professional knowledge in this field either. He just figured out things one by one because over 90% of the patients that came here had some sort of mental illness.
Yeah. Weve known each other for a long time. I know my fair share about the guy called Gyosu Park.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
When Woojin slipped his gaze to Ian, who was standing behind Gyosu, and drummed on the desk, Ian just threw the entire pack of cigars at Woojin.
Clack
First, Gyosu Park. You have a severe case of love deprivation.
Biting another cigar in his mouth, Woojin started to list everything he knew about Gyosu one by one.
You might think youre desensitized to this stuff. Youve been through war and lived by yourself in the Wasteland for quite a long time. But what actually pulled you through those rough times was, like you know, the memories of the overwhelming amount of love given to you by your parents. You lived through your life with just those memories to live by.
Gyosu wanted to deny it, but he had nothing to say. It was true that he lived his entire life chasing just one goal.
To elaborate, youre not starved of affection. But addicted to it. Even though you have the cold and logical judgment of a Wasteland survivor, youre unable to push away someone who approaches you in a friendly manner. To put it simply, youre incredibly easy to get. If someone extends their hand to you, youll take that hand without any hesitation. Because deep inside of you, you have memories of people who loved you so much, they gave up everything they had. So you have an expectation within you for a love like that from each relationship.
Tap. Tap.
Woojin shook off the ashes from the cigar into the ashtray. Gyosu felt like the red flames within the ashes of that ashtray were like the truth of his innermost feelings and was embarrassed that they were being exposed out in the open.
Youre responding in the same way to that Hyde guy. It acted hostile at first, but its pretty friendly to you now. So youre starting to gain hope from that. Hes dangerous, but maybe its possible to live with him. The good memories you had with him recently are probably also affecting this thought. Since this guy freed you from your lonely life.
[Kekeke. Vessel, is this true? Im about to be a little touched.]
Thats not.!
Oh, youre going to deny it? Do you know? Ever since you stepped foot into this room, you have not once asked me about how to get rid of this mental disease. You just said you got a new one. Youre still fighting inside. Even though you instinctively know this guy is dangerous, youre also feeling friendly toward him. The friend that has seen your deepest secrets. Cant it become that kind of being? is the hope you gained. So thats why you came here. You said you wanted to get treated, but all you actually wanted was a consultation. This and that happened, so just listen to me. That was your objective.
Like some fucking little kid.
Woojin trailed off with the last statement. The person who opened his mouth in this heavy environment was none other than Vex.
So.. I know this was important to say and all. But I want to ask what hes actually supposed to do then.
Hmm? Ah, right. I guess I am really getting old now. Im babbling off by myself. Long story short, no matter what your opinion of him is, Gyosu, you need to get rid of this Hyde guy.
Flinch!
[My goodness.]
Gyosus left fingers squirmed at Woojins declaration.
You could have lived with it if it was just a normal multiple personality disorder. But from what you said, the consciousness of this Hyde guy seemed to be growing at a very fast rate. And using the memories of Gysou Park at that. That is a very serious matter. The subconsciousness called Hyde wants to come out to the outside world, is quickly growing, and even has complete control over a part of your body. A humans body automatically tries to go back to normal when something abnormal happens to it. Seeing that this consciousness hasnt disappeared, the rate at which its growing is faster than the natural speed of your bodys recovery, so whats going to happen when the part Hyde owns becomes larger than you, Gyosu Park?
..Itll consume me.
Precisely. From then on, your body will try to go back to normal by slowly removing your consciousness. Of course, nobody knows how long it will take to get to that point. Since you still own the majority of your consciousness and because the ego youve built up for the last twenty-four years isnt a weak one. But
Woojin took off the glasses he was wearing and stared at him grimly.
If you leave that thing be, the name Gyosu Park is going to disappear at some point. Like that famous man-eater player or those other players who died from possession. GG isnt just some game made for people to enjoy. It was created for a bigger purpose we dont know of.
As Woojin continued to talk, he stared at Gyosus left hand, which had been twitching for a while now.
Tap, ta-ap, tap, tap, tap, ta-ap
While Gyosu was busy taking in this story, his fingers were sending Woojin a secret message through morse code.
[G. o. F. u. c. k. Y. o. u. r. s. e. l. f. O. l. d. M. a. n. ]
.Gyosu, do you happen to know Morse Code?
Huh? Ah, yes. I learned it when I was in the army. But I forgot all of it.
I see
Damned bastard.
A menacing smile spread across Woojins face as he looked at the fingers that were still twitching at him.
It seems Ive been talking for too long. Ill make a diagnosis. Looking at your current situation, this cant be solved by medicines like suppressants. This thing was planted in you by the program made by GG, which can scan a persons conscience and reenact everything commanded by it. There isnt anything you could do with the technology and skills of this current world.
Grab!
As Woojin said that, he quickly reached out to grab Gyosus left hand and secured it on the table. There was a sharp scalpel in his right hand.
Argh!
Rustle!
Oi, old man! What are you doing?
Put down that knife. Ill behead you the second you make even a paper cut on Hepburn.
Hah! Id like to see you try. This is the first method. You said the part hes controlling is the three fingers on this hand, right?
The scalpel touched Gyosus skin, and a red stream of blood flowed down his hand.
Cut all of them off. Dont let him do anything and just stay in that brain of yours.
T-This! You even call that a solution!
Vex, calm.. God damn it!
Stumble. Crash!
Ian yelled at Woojin as he pulled back Vex, who was going crazy after seeing Gyosus blood.
Old man! Is that really the only way? Hey! Gyosu! At least say something!
Its not that he isnt talking. He cant! The guy thats about to lose his only part of control over the body is probably going crazy right now! Respond to me if that isnt the case! If you cant respond to me, Ill consider that a sign that you cant win over that thing and cut off these fingers!
Grr, ghhhhh!
As Woojin said, Gyosus mind was currently in chaos. The Hyde that was playfully joking just a moment ago was now rampaging inside Gyosus mind. Emotions that couldnt be put into wordsconfusion, anger, greed, worry, and a little bit of sadnesswere all swirling around him in turmoil.
Gyosu could feel it. Hyde definitely wanted his body, but he wasnt a bad guy. Just a little kid that didnt learn that yet. It was a sort of understanding that could only be felt by the two consciousnesses that were coexisting with each other.
I need to explain that to him. I.. Just stay still, will you?
He couldnt move his body or speak. It wasnt that Hyde had that much control over his body, but the rampage Hyde was pulling into his mind had completely paralyzed it.
Im cutting it in three! One!
Damn it, Hyde! Just calm down! Were going to lose our fingers at this point!
He could clearly feel it. Hyde was scared. The fear that he would lose his only source of direct sensory and go back to when he could only indirectly sense what I sensed.
No, thats not it. It was something deeper. Loneliness?
And then, Gyosu realized when it all went wrong.
[I need to cure this illness.]
It was what he had said as he left the shelter.
He was basically a copy of my mind. When I came to the hospital to solve this problem with Hyde, he became scared that he would be abandoned. From the moment he was born into my mind, he talked to me, learned through me, and felt the world through my body. To him, I was the only family he had.
Two!
You could have told me this sooner! You just sat there like an idiot, pretending you were fine, pretending everything was okay, and joking around like normal! Just, just..
Just like me. He was the same. The me before I overcame my trauma.
For goodness sake, you just had to go and learn the bad parts too! Like using that dumb brain of yours for your own good or blabbering off even when you have nothing to prove
Thre
Or how you always carry everything by yourself like a fucking idiot!!
Bang!
Just as Woojin was about to stab his hand, Gyosu yelled out as he crashed his head on the table.
Drip. Drip.
Gyosu looked up at Woojin as he spoke. The wound on his head unfazed him.
Why did you have to scare a kid that isnt even a year old like that? Hes going bats**t crazy because hes scared right now!
With Gyosus statement, Woojin, who was glaring at him with a cold expression, Vex, who was still squirming around on the floor, and Ian, who was holding back that Vex, all froze.
Hah. Haaaaahh, hah ahah! Agkhahahah!
Woojins lips started to twitch, and he then began to laugh like a madman.
My goodness! I thought this was going to work, but I didnt expect it to be this good. Kid, you say? He said, What are you doing to this kid, hahah-ahhhh! Oh my goodness!
Woojin laughed manically as Gyosu just stood there, stunned.
I was testing you, you idiot! I was checking how far you and that guy had come!