Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

“While Peter reads over all his fancy new stuff, did anyone come up with an interesting use for the Worldstone?” Annie asked.

“I still think tha best use is a dungeon,” Balin said, “if’n we can find a place ta put it.”

“Where on Erd would we get enough space?” Bran groused.

“We could ask Duke Schist for some land up North?” Aqua tried hopefully.

The clan broke into excited discussion about possibilities while I started reading over my options. Honestly, with a name like Legendary Archemist, I considered it a done deal, but it was still worth reading everything.

My current class was an [Otherworldly Arcane Crafter], and it would serve as a base while the subsumed Milestones gave direction. Thankfully, all of the options seemed to stem off the concept of brewing and crafting with a bit of luck tossed in, which was exactly what I’d hoped for!

Possible Specialisation: [Otherworldly Crafter of Fortune]

Combine [Lucky Break] and [Pete’s Lucky Brew] into the Blessing [Liquid Luck].

Combine [Big Money] and [Adjust Taste] into the Blessing [Inventory].

As an [Otherworldly Arcane Crafter], you have always worked hard to craft the best possible artifice that you can. While luck may not have played too much of a role, every good crafter knows that it's always a part of the mix. As an [Otherworldly Crafter of Fortune], you will be able to distill luck itself for others to drink.

[Liquid Luck] – Any of your brews will improve the luck of those who drink it. You are able to shape luck while crafting, and can increase or decrease the amount in your brews through hard work and dedication.

This Ability is always available.

[Inventory] – As a crafter, you will often be handling large numbers of ingredients. This Ability allows you to store up to eighty thousand cubic meters of crafting materials in an extradimensional space. You always know everything in your inventory and can summon individual items to your hand. Time does not pass in your inventory, and it cannot store sentient beings.

This Ability is always available.

Possible Specialisation: [Barck’s Bartender]

Combine [Pete’s Miniature Remembrance] and [Pete’s Lucky Brew] into the Blessing [Barcks’ Cellar].

Combine [Lucky Break] and [Adjust Taste] into the Blessing [Discerning Palate].

The Milestone [Big Money] is not affected.

As one Chosen by the God Barck, he has watched your growth with great interest. Through the sacrifice of your strongest Blessings, he is able to grant you access to his cellars, which contain the accumulated alcohols of Erd. As [Barck’s Bartender] you will serve not only the brews of mortals, but Gods as well.

[Barck’s Cellar] – Grants you access to a demiplane containing Barck’s accumulated brews. Barck’s brews cannot be removed from the cellar except by his say-so, and will refill after one month has passed. You may freely move your own brews and ingredients to and from the space. Any food or drink placed in the cellar will never go bad, and will stop maturing when it reaches the ideal age.

You may activate this Ability once per day, creating a permanent door to the cellar that anyone can use.

When you use this Ability again, any older doors are destroyed.

Barck may also create or destroy doors to this space whenever and wherever he wishes and kick people out if he chooses.

[Discerning Palate] – Adjust your sense of taste to match a chosen target for an hour. Additionally, when eating or drinking, you are able to discern information by taste alone. This includes, the age, the ingredients, the origin, and maker.

This Ability can be activated once per hour.

Possible Specialisation: [Legendary Archemist]

Combine [Pete’s Miniature Remembrance] and [Adjust Taste] into the Blessing [Alchemist’s Stone].

Combine [Big Money] and [Lucky Brew] into the Blessing [Marvelous Vessel].

The Milestone [Lucky Break] is not affected.

Your efforts in magic and alchemy as an [Otherworldly Arcane Crafter] have granted you a legendary status amongst those of your craft. As a [Legendary Archemist] you combine arcane power with chemistry to craft archemical wonders that most can only dream of.

[Alchemist’s Stone] – You can crystalize your experience and magic into a wondrous artifact called an Alchemist's Stone. While holding your Alchemist’s Stone, you are able to use it to cast spells, and learn new spells more easily. Once per day you may use it to transform one cubic meter of an ingredient into some other ingredient.

If your stone is ever broken or lost, it will take you one year to slowly crystalize your mana to create a new one. You may only have one [Alchemist’s Stone] at a time.

[Marvelous Vessels] – Any containers you use for your crafting are less likely to be dropped or broken, and their contents are less likely to go bad. Additionally, they are capable of containing twice as much as they should.

This Ability is always available.

Possible Specialisation: [Lucky Arcane Crafter]

Combine [Adjust Taste] and [Lucky Brew] into the Blessing [Loads of Luck].

Combine [Lucky Break] and [Pete’s Miniature Remembrance] into the Blessing [Best Tool For the Job].

The Milestone [Pete’s Poor Manasight] is not affected.

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You worked hard as an [Otherworldly Arcane Crafter] to get where you are today, but even you admit that luck had a part. As a [Lucky Arcane Crafter] you store your own luck, bit by bit, until the moment you choose to let it all out.

[Loads of Luck] – This Ability will massively increase your luck for a single moment. Alternatively, you can store that luck, and release it at another time of your choosing. Repeated uses of this Ability will stack the luck gained when you finally use it.

This Ability can be used once per day. It will activate automatically in times of great need.

[Best Tool For the Job] – You can summon an ethereal version of the exact tool you require for the job at hand. The summoned item is masterly crafted, and grants a slight luck bonus to whatever task you are using it for.

This Ability can be used once per hour.

I read them over with interest, several times. in particular, two of them – the [Legendary Archemist] and [Barck’s Bartender].

[Lucky Arcane Crafter] and [Otherworldy Crafter of Fortune] were both neat, and definitely fit with my desires as a crafter, but they also felt like more of the same. I’d gone from an [Alchemist] to an [Otherworldly Brewer] to an [Otherworldly Arcane Crafter], and I wanted something more than just a material improvement to my basic abilities this time.

I wanted something new.

[Lucky Arcane Crafter] would let me craft literal luck, and while that was super cool, we’d seen from the Herder gem brew that passing around free luck could be a bad idea. Now, would I love to fortify Balin and his party with some liquid luck? Sure! But someone else probably had the same Ability, and we were rich enough at this point that we could buy it from them. I’d need to ask the Alchemist’s Guild if someone in Kinshasa had a similar Ability.

[Lucky Arcane Crafter] was the flip side. Nothing new for me to craft, but it definitely added to my bag of tricks. If I pumped [Loads of Luck] high enough, I could potentially do some pretty crazy stuff. And [Best Tool For The Job]? Useful, but again… nothing new.

Honestly, my heart was really swaying to [Legendary Archemist], even with the goofy name. Seriously, what was an Archemist? But, the alchemist’s stone, bab-ay!! More magic and the ability to transmute ingredients!!! And it doubled as a wand! How cool was that shit! And I didn't even need to beat up a bespectacled British child to get it!

But… [Barck’s Bartender] really filled that itch for something different, and had some interesting connotations. If Barck could make a door to the cellar, would I be able to meet him there?

Chat?

Boot him in the balls for being such a dick? I was still nursing a grudge over the Birch incident, when he’d locked me out of my escape route and in a roundabout way had forced me into deadly combat with a duck.

And how big was a demiplane? Were we talking, like, infinite? I could think of a lot of possible uses for an infinite space, even one that Barck could kick me out of whenever he wanted. Oh, and it could have multiple doors? Could I leave a door here at the Goat then ask Barck for one whenever I needed it?

And what brews did it have!? Even with the sorry state of beer in this world, there were other alcohols, and other drinks that Barck must've collected. Could there be, like, extra-dimensional beers?

Guinness?

REGENERATING ELVEN WINE?? *phew* Calm down Pete! It was just wine!

By far, it was the most interesting, even if it wasn’t quite as awesome as [Archemist].

Bereft of ideas I reached out to my clan, interrupting the current discussion, which was about using the [Worldstone] to make Erd’s most magical stove.

“Alright all. I have two candidates, and I want your opinion, because one of them could impact the Goat,” I said once I had everyone’s attention.

“Uh oh.” Aqua tittered. “Pete’s about to throw a hammer in it again!”

I gave her a glare. “The first is a [Legendary Archemist].”

Bran held up his hand. “Ho-ooold it! You got a Legendary Specialisation, before me??”

“That a problem, chef?” I asked sweetly. “Got some beef?”

“Don’t you be tart with me, lad!” Bran growled. “I cook yer meals!”

“That’s true, I‘ve seen you with Opal, you’re definitely cooked!”n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

Bran thumped both fists on the table. “Gorram Aaron’s Arse! It’s not fair! I’m the one whose name is on all the food! It’s not like yer the one personally makin’ the beer! I know for a fact that Johnsson and Richter make most of it these days!”

“I supervise…” I replied, nettled. “And besides, what’s so special about a Legendary Specialisation? Isn’t it just a name?”

“It means ‘dat folk consider you a Legend in ‘de field,” Richter put in. “It’s more than just a combination of yer Milestones, it needs some outside support. ‘De only other kind like it is ‘de God Specialisations, where a God needs ta approve of ya.”

“Funny you should mention that.” I grinned.

Annie perked up. “Oooh, another God Specialisation? What is it!”

‘Another?’ Bran mouthed, shutting his eyes like a dwarf in pain. In contrast, the Digger family’s eyes all went wide.

“Aye. Here, I’ll brief you all on the options.” I read the Specialisations and their Blessings out in full, and then did it again as everyone took notes.

“[Legendary Archemist].” Richter was the first to offer his thoughts. “I’ve heard of ‘de [Alchemist’s Stone], and it's considered one of ‘de best tools fer a mage. You’ll be able to learn spells faster and cast ‘em easier. And you’d be able to get rare ingredients more easily.

“I vote for [Bartender]. It suits Pete.” Bran chuckled. Balin nodded vigorously.

I crossed my arms petulantly. “You just don’t want me to be Legendary before you. Sorry Bran, but I’m the Forefather of Brewing now, I’m already a Legend.”

Aqua rolled her eyes. “And here we go. It’s getting to his head.”

“More for therapy?” Annie asked, none too quietly. Aqua nodded emphatically.

Annie sighed. “Well, even if it gives him a bigger head, which I’m not sure is possible, I agree with the [Legendary Archemist]. It benefits nearly everything you do, while the [Bartender] is questionable at best. The cellar could be empty for all you know.”

“Aye, you can brew just about anythin’ or buy just about any brew now,” Richter added. “ It’s neat, but I t’ink you’d be way happier wit’ learning new spells faster. Think about how long it took you to learn ‘dat awful bacon spell, and imagine learning it twice as fast.”

There was general agreement, and I was about to lock it in, when the most unexpected voice spoke out.

“Is a Demiplane some kinda dimensional space? Worldstones can upgrade Abilities and Dimensional pockets, so… What if we used the Worldstone on [Barck’s Cellar]?”

We all stared in incredulity at Bando, who blushed.

“By All Tha Bits of Tha Gods,” Richter whispered. “What would happen?”